sandmansister: (Hedwig - Origin of Love)
Saving here for my own purposes, but also wanted to share this excellent food for thought. It's about the criteria we use to choose romantic partners, but it most certainly applies to any close relationship. For myself, there's no appreciable difference between a love partner and a cherished friend, at least from an emotional perspective. Love is love; the way the emotion/relationship manifests just varies based on chemistry.

This essay articulates a lot of things I knew, but my heart couldn't find the words to express. The biggest is this:
It is possible to deeply, sincerely love someone and still not be a good partner for that person.


And I sort of already adopted this approach, but I'm going to make it a more conscious practice, now:
If I meet someone who seems interesting, and seems interested in me, I am more likely to ask the question "Does this person really light me up inside and bring out joy in me?" than "Does this person have some disagreeable trait that I don't like?" That approach tends to "fail open"—the default is *not* to start a relationship unless there's something very special about the person, rather than to start a relationship unless there's something disagreeable about her.


So here's to failing open, my lovelies. And thank you one and all for making my heart sparkle darkly.
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Origin of Love)
Saving here for my own purposes, but also wanted to share this excellent food for thought. It's about the criteria we use to choose romantic partners, but it most certainly applies to any close relationship. For myself, there's no appreciable difference between a love partner and a cherished friend, at least from an emotional perspective. Love is love; the way the emotion/relationship manifests just varies based on chemistry.

This essay articulates a lot of things I knew, but my heart couldn't find the words to express. The biggest is this:
It is possible to deeply, sincerely love someone and still not be a good partner for that person.


And I sort of already adopted this approach, but I'm going to make it a more conscious practice, now:
If I meet someone who seems interesting, and seems interested in me, I am more likely to ask the question "Does this person really light me up inside and bring out joy in me?" than "Does this person have some disagreeable trait that I don't like?" That approach tends to "fail open"—the default is *not* to start a relationship unless there's something very special about the person, rather than to start a relationship unless there's something disagreeable about her.


So here's to failing open, my lovelies. And thank you one and all for making my heart sparkle darkly.
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Origin of Love)
Saving here for my own purposes, but also wanted to share this excellent food for thought. It's about the criteria we use to choose romantic partners, but it most certainly applies to any close relationship. For myself, there's no appreciable difference between a love partner and a cherished friend, at least from an emotional perspective. Love is love; the way the emotion/relationship manifests just varies based on chemistry.

This essay articulates a lot of things I knew, but my heart couldn't find the words to express. The biggest is this:
It is possible to deeply, sincerely love someone and still not be a good partner for that person.


And I sort of already adopted this approach, but I'm going to make it a more conscious practice, now:
If I meet someone who seems interesting, and seems interested in me, I am more likely to ask the question "Does this person really light me up inside and bring out joy in me?" than "Does this person have some disagreeable trait that I don't like?" That approach tends to "fail open"—the default is *not* to start a relationship unless there's something very special about the person, rather than to start a relationship unless there's something disagreeable about her.


So here's to failing open, my lovelies. And thank you one and all for making my heart sparkle darkly.
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Origin of Love)
Saving here for my own purposes, but also wanted to share this excellent food for thought. It's about the criteria we use to choose romantic partners, but it most certainly applies to any close relationship. For myself, there's no appreciable difference between a love partner and a cherished friend, at least from an emotional perspective. Love is love; the way the emotion/relationship manifests just varies based on chemistry.

This essay articulates a lot of things I knew, but my heart couldn't find the words to express. The biggest is this:
It is possible to deeply, sincerely love someone and still not be a good partner for that person.


And I sort of already adopted this approach, but I'm going to make it a more conscious practice, now:
If I meet someone who seems interesting, and seems interested in me, I am more likely to ask the question "Does this person really light me up inside and bring out joy in me?" than "Does this person have some disagreeable trait that I don't like?" That approach tends to "fail open"—the default is *not* to start a relationship unless there's something very special about the person, rather than to start a relationship unless there's something disagreeable about her.


So here's to failing open, my lovelies. And thank you one and all for making my heart sparkle darkly.
sandmansister: (True Blood - Not alone)
Great article on love/lust in long term relationships:

Lust for the Long Haul

Interesting food for thought, even if you're not in a relationship right now. Some interesting strategies and perspectives on what it takes to create a successful partnership.

Thanks, Daniel, for sharing!
sandmansister: (True Blood - Not alone)
Great article on love/lust in long term relationships:

Lust for the Long Haul

Interesting food for thought, even if you're not in a relationship right now. Some interesting strategies and perspectives on what it takes to create a successful partnership.

Thanks, Daniel, for sharing!
sandmansister: (True Blood - Not alone)
Great article on love/lust in long term relationships:

Lust for the Long Haul

Interesting food for thought, even if you're not in a relationship right now. Some interesting strategies and perspectives on what it takes to create a successful partnership.

Thanks, Daniel, for sharing!
sandmansister: (True Blood - Not alone)
Great article on love/lust in long term relationships:

Lust for the Long Haul

Interesting food for thought, even if you're not in a relationship right now. Some interesting strategies and perspectives on what it takes to create a successful partnership.

Thanks, Daniel, for sharing!
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Follow my voice)
Swiped this exquisite bit of beauty from several folks; it originated with [livejournal.com profile] apocalypticbob and I would be remiss not to share with you lot that I hold so dear:

Today begins the last half of this year, a year which has been full of ups and downs for many people, but particularly rough for my friends list. There have been lost jobs, lost loves, lost pets, lost family members, lost health, lost friendships, lost freedom, and lost sanity.

Therefore, with all that I am and with all the power that I possess, I claim the next six months to be a time of abundant prosperity and renewal. I claim new loves for those who wish them, new friendships, new opportunities, new jobs for those who are looking, financial gain for those who are open to it, and all around growth and fulfillment for those in need. I claim vitality and health for those who are sick or unwell in any manner. I claim justice and the prevailing of truth for those facing legal troubles. I claim peace and comfort for those who are hurting.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I invite you to add your claim to mine, that we may stand in accord on this.


Yeah, I'm especially claiming super-double-plus-good health. 'Cuz that would give me (and folks who love me) untold joy... and a good measure of relief/peace to boot. I'm for all of that. (Plus, it means I can enjoy all the joy properly!)

On a related note: How is it that I don't know someone fabulous enough to have the brain and spirit to write such a thing? Sheesh! Add that to my intention for the second half of this year...
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Follow my voice)
Swiped this exquisite bit of beauty from several folks; it originated with [livejournal.com profile] apocalypticbob and I would be remiss not to share with you lot that I hold so dear:

Today begins the last half of this year, a year which has been full of ups and downs for many people, but particularly rough for my friends list. There have been lost jobs, lost loves, lost pets, lost family members, lost health, lost friendships, lost freedom, and lost sanity.

Therefore, with all that I am and with all the power that I possess, I claim the next six months to be a time of abundant prosperity and renewal. I claim new loves for those who wish them, new friendships, new opportunities, new jobs for those who are looking, financial gain for those who are open to it, and all around growth and fulfillment for those in need. I claim vitality and health for those who are sick or unwell in any manner. I claim justice and the prevailing of truth for those facing legal troubles. I claim peace and comfort for those who are hurting.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I invite you to add your claim to mine, that we may stand in accord on this.


Yeah, I'm especially claiming super-double-plus-good health. 'Cuz that would give me (and folks who love me) untold joy... and a good measure of relief/peace to boot. I'm for all of that. (Plus, it means I can enjoy all the joy properly!)

On a related note: How is it that I don't know someone fabulous enough to have the brain and spirit to write such a thing? Sheesh! Add that to my intention for the second half of this year...
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Follow my voice)
Swiped this exquisite bit of beauty from several folks; it originated with [livejournal.com profile] apocalypticbob and I would be remiss not to share with you lot that I hold so dear:

Today begins the last half of this year, a year which has been full of ups and downs for many people, but particularly rough for my friends list. There have been lost jobs, lost loves, lost pets, lost family members, lost health, lost friendships, lost freedom, and lost sanity.

Therefore, with all that I am and with all the power that I possess, I claim the next six months to be a time of abundant prosperity and renewal. I claim new loves for those who wish them, new friendships, new opportunities, new jobs for those who are looking, financial gain for those who are open to it, and all around growth and fulfillment for those in need. I claim vitality and health for those who are sick or unwell in any manner. I claim justice and the prevailing of truth for those facing legal troubles. I claim peace and comfort for those who are hurting.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I invite you to add your claim to mine, that we may stand in accord on this.


Yeah, I'm especially claiming super-double-plus-good health. 'Cuz that would give me (and folks who love me) untold joy... and a good measure of relief/peace to boot. I'm for all of that. (Plus, it means I can enjoy all the joy properly!)

On a related note: How is it that I don't know someone fabulous enough to have the brain and spirit to write such a thing? Sheesh! Add that to my intention for the second half of this year...
sandmansister: (Hedwig - Follow my voice)
Swiped this exquisite bit of beauty from several folks; it originated with [livejournal.com profile] apocalypticbob and I would be remiss not to share with you lot that I hold so dear:

Today begins the last half of this year, a year which has been full of ups and downs for many people, but particularly rough for my friends list. There have been lost jobs, lost loves, lost pets, lost family members, lost health, lost friendships, lost freedom, and lost sanity.

Therefore, with all that I am and with all the power that I possess, I claim the next six months to be a time of abundant prosperity and renewal. I claim new loves for those who wish them, new friendships, new opportunities, new jobs for those who are looking, financial gain for those who are open to it, and all around growth and fulfillment for those in need. I claim vitality and health for those who are sick or unwell in any manner. I claim justice and the prevailing of truth for those facing legal troubles. I claim peace and comfort for those who are hurting.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I claim joy.

I invite you to add your claim to mine, that we may stand in accord on this.


Yeah, I'm especially claiming super-double-plus-good health. 'Cuz that would give me (and folks who love me) untold joy... and a good measure of relief/peace to boot. I'm for all of that. (Plus, it means I can enjoy all the joy properly!)

On a related note: How is it that I don't know someone fabulous enough to have the brain and spirit to write such a thing? Sheesh! Add that to my intention for the second half of this year...
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
... 'cuz lots of folks out there (you know who you are) seem to be needing some extra these days. I wish I could fix things. I hate that I can't. But it's not about me.

Just know that I'm mustering up all the juju I can to bring things to the best possible conclusion for all concerned (and the peace/wisdom to recognize it for what it is).

Yes, this includes you. And you, too.



I see you hiding over there, feeling small, thinking your problems aren't worthy of notice. You think I don't see you, but I do. And if it matters to you, it matters to me... and so you get some, too.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
... 'cuz lots of folks out there (you know who you are) seem to be needing some extra these days. I wish I could fix things. I hate that I can't. But it's not about me.

Just know that I'm mustering up all the juju I can to bring things to the best possible conclusion for all concerned (and the peace/wisdom to recognize it for what it is).

Yes, this includes you. And you, too.



I see you hiding over there, feeling small, thinking your problems aren't worthy of notice. You think I don't see you, but I do. And if it matters to you, it matters to me... and so you get some, too.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
... 'cuz lots of folks out there (you know who you are) seem to be needing some extra these days. I wish I could fix things. I hate that I can't. But it's not about me.

Just know that I'm mustering up all the juju I can to bring things to the best possible conclusion for all concerned (and the peace/wisdom to recognize it for what it is).

Yes, this includes you. And you, too.



I see you hiding over there, feeling small, thinking your problems aren't worthy of notice. You think I don't see you, but I do. And if it matters to you, it matters to me... and so you get some, too.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
... 'cuz lots of folks out there (you know who you are) seem to be needing some extra these days. I wish I could fix things. I hate that I can't. But it's not about me.

Just know that I'm mustering up all the juju I can to bring things to the best possible conclusion for all concerned (and the peace/wisdom to recognize it for what it is).

Yes, this includes you. And you, too.



I see you hiding over there, feeling small, thinking your problems aren't worthy of notice. You think I don't see you, but I do. And if it matters to you, it matters to me... and so you get some, too.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
[livejournal.com profile] arbiter_of_cool found this truly inspiring picture

to counter some of the horrific ones coming out of Iran these days.

Of course, I had to make it into an icon. What can I say? It's a lovely image, made even more poignant given its origin. Something in it spoke to me.

Check my comments in his post if you wish another version of it. Snag and use as you will. Credit me, if you're so inclined kthxbye.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
[livejournal.com profile] arbiter_of_cool found this truly inspiring picture

to counter some of the horrific ones coming out of Iran these days.

Of course, I had to make it into an icon. What can I say? It's a lovely image, made even more poignant given its origin. Something in it spoke to me.

Check my comments in his post if you wish another version of it. Snag and use as you will. Credit me, if you're so inclined kthxbye.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
[livejournal.com profile] arbiter_of_cool found this truly inspiring picture

to counter some of the horrific ones coming out of Iran these days.

Of course, I had to make it into an icon. What can I say? It's a lovely image, made even more poignant given its origin. Something in it spoke to me.

Check my comments in his post if you wish another version of it. Snag and use as you will. Credit me, if you're so inclined kthxbye.
sandmansister: (HandHeart)
[livejournal.com profile] arbiter_of_cool found this truly inspiring picture

to counter some of the horrific ones coming out of Iran these days.

Of course, I had to make it into an icon. What can I say? It's a lovely image, made even more poignant given its origin. Something in it spoke to me.

Check my comments in his post if you wish another version of it. Snag and use as you will. Credit me, if you're so inclined kthxbye.

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