Hole in My Heart

[sandmansister]

This song always reminds me of Jimmy. Most of the time, I love the random shuffle feature of my MP3 player. Sometimes it blindsides me.

It was an early morning phone call December
That got my attention
They called to tell me that you were gone
You were the strength of all my hopes and inspirations
You were the music in my song

Sometimes what doesn't seem so fair
That's what makes us more aware

I know you're smiling
I know you're singing, I know that you're in a better place
Where angels wings caress you
But I still miss you

More than leaves are falling this October
It's just that I wanted to stand with you for awhile
Now I'm walking through a doorway to tomorrow
More like running, running out of time

Sometimes what doesn't seem so fair
That's what makes us more aware

I know you're smiling
I know you're singing, I know that you're in a better place
Where angels wings caress you
But I still miss you

He was—and is—the music in my song. When I got it right, when I was really in the zone I'd see it all over his face, writ in his whole body. His posture would change, and he'd throw his head back like a paroxysm of ecstasy... and knowing him, it was erotica! I lived to get that kind of visceral reaction... especially from him.

His pain is over, and for that I am eternally grateful. My broken heart should seem like a small price to pay... but today I am selfish. I want to see the look on his face when we nail "Ave Verum Corpus," or doo-wop our way through "How Do I Love Thee?".

I want to laugh with and hold my friend again.